Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Hold on, Hold on...I'm SCRAMBLIN

trying to manage so many things at once can lead to this.
this is some feedback from an essay that i turned in a few days ago.
smh!
(shaking my head)
lol


This essay has some of the makings of an insightful analysis of the development of the characters of Tom and Chambers in the novel, and the roles of upbringing and the community’s racism, as portrayed by the narrator, in forming their characters. However, there is no clear thesis presented, and far too little evidence presented to development an argument. The word limit should encourage you to focus immediately on the question at hand, not ramble so that you run out of space. I am very confident that you can write better than this, as you have in the past. Were you in a hurry? I hope these comments help you see what to focus on for future assignments. I’d be happy to look at a draft essay for the next exam in office hours or on email.

IDEAS/DEVELOPMENT: 19/25 ORGANIZATION/COHERENCE: 21/25
SUPPORT: 15/20 STYLE: 14/15 GRAMMAR: 15/15

IDENTIFICATION: 8
SHORT ANSWERS: 73
ESSAY: 84 B
TOTAL POINTS: 165/200
EXAM GRADE: 82 B-




here is part of the actual essay...the conclusion..smh:

There is certainly more to write about this novel, however, due to length of answer restraints, the reader turned writer cannot continue to indulge in developing an evaluation of the character development exhibited within the novel.

5 comments:

dena.DUHH said...

Sounds like the feedback I'll get on an analysis I had to turn in on Sunday...that I didn't start on until Friday.

Procrastination is my best friend haha.

Internet Goon a.k.a Mr Dot Dot Dot said...

HAHAHAHAHA...Conclusion is too funny...Reader turned writer...goodness

Anonymous said...

How honest of you Turbo, to show that while Scramblin' some things can fall through the cracks, as to not lead us to believe that you're perfect. "My flaws have thawed..." Thanks man for being real, as you have always been. And next time Scramble up on some of those office hours. That saved me a few times in certain courses.
-Cinque

Turbo said...

i want to send her response back to her and say that she was supposed to use the word "develop" instead of "development" in her 2nd sentence.

Anonymous said...

Ha, you a fool man! You're such an English major. She might respect that, but she still got you on the under"developed" analysis! LOL!
-Cinque